The Discipline of the Pause: What I Learned the Hard Way
We live in a culture that equates speed with intelligence and exhaustion with commitment. I built multiple businesses inside that belief system.
In the first years of opening my restaurants, growth was rapid and unrelenting. I was in the kitchens, in the numbers, in the hiring, in the design...not to mention the countless times on hold with Comcast! I was the first to arrive and the last to leave. Around-the-clock wasn’t dramatic language. It was operational reality. In the very early days of my first one, I remember borrowing a friend’s car and seeing the clouds for the first time in ages and being awestruck.
When I heard about leadership retreats, networking events, and coaching, I laughed. Who had time for that? Did anyone running a real, scaling company actually attend those things? They felt indulgent, ridiculous. Detached from the hard truth and urgency of actually building something from the ground up.
I wore overextension as proof of devotion.
What I didn’t see was the cost.
Chronic stress narrows perception. When adrenaline becomes your baseline, your brain shifts into short-term survival mode. That response is useful in a crisis. It is dangerous as a long-term leadership strategy. Vision contracts. Creativity dulls. Decision-making becomes reactive..
You don't know which seeds will take root. You can't control the weather. Some will bloom immediately; others will lay dormant for seasons. But here's what I discovered: when you focus on nourishing the soil—the culture, the systems, the mindset, the environments—everything you plant has a chance to flourish. Now, I get the privilege of being a part of this tenfold!
I founded Rooted Vision Studio on a belief that terrified me: that more and more female entrepreneurs were seeking to carve their own path, outside of the traditional male model. They sought to thrive in balance, marrying business and pleasure, grounded in natural principles, and lead with depth over speed. Honestly, everywhere I looked I saw women entrepreneurs drowning in hustle culture—scaling at the expense of joy, building without balance, chasing metrics that left them empty, and I knew this had to change…
The business was expanding. My capacity was thinning.
I was solving problems constantly, but I was no longer thinking expansively. I was driving growth but not cultivating depth. The vitality that had fueled the original vision was being siphoned off by urgency.
It took humility to recognize that stamina is not the same as leadership.
When I finally created structured space to pause—through intentional reflection and trusted guidance—the shift was not dramatic. It was clarifying. No one handed me answers. Instead, I was given something rarer: room to think, breath, and explore.
In that space, I could distinguish urgency from importance. Reaction from intention. Growth from coherence.
I saw that self-care was not indulgence; it was infrastructure. Vitality is a leadership asset. When it erodes, so does clarity. Getting a coach was not outsourcing strength; it was strengthening my discernment. Reflection was not slowing momentum; it was aligning it..
The most effective leaders I know are not the ones who move the fastest. They are the ones who can regulate their internal pace even when external conditions accelerate.
They can hold complexity without collapsing into reactivity.
They can make bold decisions without abandoning reflection.
In a culture that rewards certainty and speed, choosing to pause can feel countercultural. It may even feel irresponsible or decadent. But without grounding, acceleration eventually always becomes distortion.
I relish working with leaders who are often where I once stood — capable, driven, in motion. Most believe they cannot afford to slow down. And I understand that instinct... but I also know this:
The ability to pause without losing momentum is one of the most sophisticated leadership disciplines there is.
Speed will not disappear. Growth will not wait. But we can decide how we meet it.
In a culture addicted to motion, clarity is rare.
And clarity—earned through reflection and grounded vision—may be the most valuable asset a leader can cultivate.